Surviving a Party with a Paladin, as a Rogue

A Survival guide to not fighting with those lawful good boy scouts

Now, I have been in quite a few parties where I am playing a roguish character - someone with flexible morals - and someone invited a paladin to the party. And of course my first thought is this guy might try to kill me.
So, dealing with this situation as often as I have, I've gotten very good at doing bad things while still seeming like a Really Nice Guy. I am here to share this knowledge with you, to help prevent party strife, and to make sure all you rogue-like characters still get that treasure.

First of all, the #1 mistake is telling the paladin that you are "a thief" or even "a rogue." I know it sounds a little self-explanatory, but I see it so often: People say, "oh yeah I am a rogue" and for the next twenty sessions, the paladin is occupied spying on you. Don't label yourself as that; just call yourself "a dungeoneer" or "a treasure hunter." Without the label you seem so less shady.

Second, at lower levels don't even try to lie to the paladin - your bluff isn't good enough. He will know you're lying and he might just take your tongue for it (this being the extreme case). Instead, just bend the truth, or talk around. For example, if he asks you where you got that gold necklace, just say you found it - you don't have to mention you found it in someone's house. If he goes further to ask where you found it, you can say you found it in a deserted building (provided no one was home, so that you're not lying). The point I'm making is: think of these ahead of time and be prepared. Don't just say "umm it fell off the cart".

Thirdly - and this is one of the best ways to make it seem like you are a good guy - give gold away. Give it to people in need, give it to the church (the paladin's church works really well), give some to party members; just give away a portion of your gold. It doesn't have to be big, but give a small amount of what you got to someone else, and it will go far to make you seem like a nice guy (I'm talking 10-20% of what you took; not much, but something).

Fourthly, just a quick simple thing: Don't steal from the party! It is in bad taste and, think about it,
rogues are generally pretty fragile. A quick hit from almost anyone in your party is going to kill you; just don't do it. (thank you thomasward4 for the suggestion to add this) 

Lastly, unless it is a plot item or something they really need to know about, don't mention to your party how many items you have, or how much gold you have. If they don't know how much gold you have, how will they know when you get a lot more?
A couple ways to do this: Keep a small amount of gold in a coin pouch on your side and the rest hidden on your body. Use a slight of hand check to strap it to your thigh, or back, or keep a hidden pocket in your backpack that only you know about. The great thing is if you do this, when you give gold away it makes it seem like a bigger donation! How good do you look if instead of giving a homeless man a hand full of coins, you give him your whole pouch? Tell him to stay warm and eat a good meal, and walk away, never looking back. In the end, you gave about the same amount.
Keep in mind to keep track of how much of your gold is where. The person running your game will call you on it.

I hope this helps to make your parties run more smoothly, and keeps your rogues with both their hands. It might also help the paladins with their role playing, because now they don't have to try to punish the rogue all the time or "bring great justice" to him.

A last thought: While your paladin will eventually know about all of your exploits if you do well, he will realize you are a valuable asset to whatever his or her god's goal is, and that you do have a positive influence in the world (even if you're just faking it).